


Cuddles, Cocoa, and Confessions

by lavendersun



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Dinner, Cuties, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon, Snow, Snowball Fights, Winter, alluka is literally the cutest thing ever, idk bro its snowing and almost christmas so this is just a christmas-y one-shot???, killugon has my heart, literally just finished hxh yesterday and my heart hurts, probably out of character, soft killua and gon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:46:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavendersun/pseuds/lavendersun
Summary: A year after Killua and Gon separated, they reunite for the winter season at Killua's new country home.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Cuddles, Cocoa, and Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> lol hope y'all enjoy this

Gon had never seen snow. In all of his 16 years, he had never once seen the beautiful, fluffy substance. Whale Island was warm year-round, the lowest temperatures not even close to being considered cold.

But Killua, on the other hand, had been raised on a mountain, where snow was very common. He was also trained to be able to stay silent and focused in any environment, but Gon decided not to think about that gruesome detail for very long.

A little over a year ago, Gon and Killua had decided to part ways. They kept in contact while Gon participated in various jobs for the Hunter Association and Killua protected Alluka. The year away from his best friend hadn't been easy for Gon, and the first mission he had gone on, instinctively, he had turned to make a joke to Killua, only to realize he wasn't there. (Of course, Gon always filled Killua in on _every_ detail from his missions. Those phone calls usually lasted 5 hours.)

Killua had bought a house a few months ago, one far away from any city or town, out in the gorgeous countryside. It was a place where Nanika's power couldn't hurt anyone, and a safe haven from the rest of the Zoldyck family.

But now, two weeks before Christmas, Gon trudged through the snow, up a path towards a house three times the size of his home with Aunt Mito. It was two stories, with a large balcony, and it was decorated with tinsel and flashing lights. 

Gon hadn't been informed that there would be _snow_ on the ground. So, he'd worn his usual (updated) outfit. Killua had picked it out for him, and mailed it to him months ago with a note that said "Please burn that atrocious jacket <3." It was a pair of simple black shorts, much like the pair Killua had usually worn when they were younger, and a dark green turtleneck. Killua had also sent one of his own hoodies, which had smelled just like him. That had made Gon cry harder than he wanted to admit.

Now, his legs were freezing, and the bottoms of his shorts were damp. He hurried to the door and knocked, wrapping his arms around himself to protect him from the cold.

Alluka answered the door. She seemed to have gotten a little bit taller, and her black hair was cut shorter than it had been a year ago. But her large blue eyes still held that innocence and unwavering love for everything in the world.

Her face lit up in a smile, and she threw herself into Gon's arms, a soft squeal escaping her lips. Gon laughed and hugged her tight. Though he hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk to her back when she saved his life, there were many times when she would call him just to talk. They had gotten a lot closer over the last year, which made Killua happy, too.

"Where's Killua?" Gon asked when Alluka finally released him. She tugged him into the foyer of the house.

"Shh," she said, pressing a finger to her lips. "I wanna surprise Big Brother."

Gon laughed again. This felt so _normal_ to him, and suddenly an image popped into his mind. An image of sharing this country estate with Killua and Alluka, of celebrating many holidays and important days in the years to come. It was wishful thinking, but it was a life Gon could be happy living.

Alluka took his hand and tugged him into what he presumed was the living room. A large brick fireplace occupied one wall, flames dancing behind an iron gate. A TV claimed another wall, with a couch facing it. Gon walked over to the coffee table to look at the two picture frames situated there. One was the picture of him, Killua, and Alluka from a year ago, and the other was a picture of Gon and Killua. It was also an old picture, one that Killua had taken of the two of them on his phone. They were both smiling, with Killua resting his head on Gon's shoulder. 

"You have to hide," Alluka said, placing her hands on her hips and tilting her nose up. "I don't want Big Brother to find you yet."

Gon nodded and made his way over to the shoe closet on the far side of the room. He nestled into the back, behind Killua's absurd amount of coats and hoodies. They all smelled just like Killua, and it was a very painful reminder that he still had to wait a little bit longer before he could see his best friend.

Then he heard Killua's voice.

"He's still not here?"

Gon thought he was going to pass out. Killua's voice had gotten deeper, but it still sounded so similar to the voice that Gon had been so used to hearing every day for two years.

He kept himself completely still as he heard Killua and Alluka discussing when Gon would arrive.

Then Alluka said, "Big Brother, can you get me one of my jackets?"

"Sure, Alluka," Killua said, and Gon could still hear the trace of disappointment in his voice.

The closet door opened and Gon held his breath.

The light flickered on.

Killua shouted, and jumped back a few feet as Gon peered at him from the back of the closet.

"Gon?"

"Killua!"

Killua was yanking him out of the closet in a flash, pulling him into the tightest, warmest hug he's ever felt. Gon immediately forgot about his cold adventure to the house, and all he could think about was the perfection of this moment. 

When they broke out of their embrace, Killua's face was damp and his cheeks were flushed. His hair was still the same, fluffy and white. His face hadn't changed much, although his eyes were brighter and clearer. He was slightly taller than Gon, and he had definitely gotten more muscular.

Alluka winked at Gon from over Killua's shoulder and waved as she left the room.

"You... wow, you..." Killua started, but his voice trailed off and he continued just staring at Gon with such a strange, intense look in his eyes.

"You're still so pretty, Killua," Gon said, beaming. He was so sure his smile couldn't get any bigger than what it was right that second.

Killua hid his face in his hands. "I thought you would've gotten rid of that bad habit by now, idiot."

"What habit?" Gon asked.

"Saying stuff that's embarrassing!"

He laughed and pried Killua's hands from his face. "But it's _true_."

Killua smiled almost shyly, which was new for him. Gon couldn't help but hug him again. "I missed you," he mumbled into Killua's shoulder.

"You just talked to me, like, a week ago."

"But still," Gon whined, burying his head further into Killua's shoulder. 

Killua squeezed him. "I missed you, too, shithead."

Gon really would've been content to spend the next three hours standing there in Killua's arms, but Killua finally pulled away from him and said, "You need to change."

"Why?"

"Your clothes are soaked, Gon. Why didn't you wear a coat? And better pants?"

Gon laughed and scratched his head. "Well... I didn't know there was gonna be snow on the ground. I've never even seen snow before today."

Killua looked astounded. "You're kidding."

Gon shook his head.

"Come on," Killua said, taking Gon's hand and lacing their fingers together. Gon was too busy thinking about that to realize that Killua had started leading him up a set of stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"To get you some warmer clothes. Then I'm taking you outside to see the snow." 

Killua led him into a large bedroom. Everything was either blue, lavender, or white, Killua's old skateboard was lying in the middle of the floor, and the doors to a large walk-in closet were hanging ajar.

"I renovated one of the bedrooms and turned it into a closet," Killua explained as he pulled Gon into the room. "But it still isn't enough room so the basement is mostly just clothes, too." Killua used his free hand to pull a sweatshirt off its hanger. It was dark blue, and it looked a few sizes too big for Killua, but Gon didn't question it as Killua handed him the hoodie and a pair of gray sweat pants. "Put these on."

Killua left and pulled the door closed behind him, and Gon changed quickly but he didn't leave the closet. He was amazed.

There were so many different outfits and shoes and belts and necklaces and bracelets and so many other things. Gon sat at the tiny vanity in the corner of the room and couldn't help but search through the drawers.

Most of it was eyeliner and black nail polish, which genuinely didn't surprise Gon. But there were also more old pictures of the two of them.

"Hurry up, Gon!" Killua called from the other side of the door, and Gon shoved the drawer closed, hurrying out the door. Killua was waiting for him, arms crossed, a small smile on his face. 

They walked outside, Alluka skipping after them. She leaped into the snow, waving her arms and legs around.

"What's she doing?" Gon asked.

Killua smiled as they watched his younger sister. "Making a snow angel."

Gon hadn't realized he was standing so close to Killua until he turned to look at the other boy. Their shoulders were almost touching, and their hands brushed. For a moment, Gon wondered if Killua had used his nen to shock him, as he felt sparks at the contact.

Then Killua said, "Wait right here," and rushed out into the snow.

Gon watched as he scooped snow into his hands and started bundling it into a small ball. "What're you doing?"

Killua turned towards him with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Prepare to get your shit rocked."

"Wha-" He couldn't finish his sentence before the ball of snow careened into his face, leaving his skin stinging and cold.

"Killua!" He wailed, hiding his face in his hands. "What the hell?"

Killua giggled. "It's called a snowball."

Gon frowned and sat down on the step leading up to the door. "I haven't seen you in a whole year and then you just do this."

Killua came to sit beside him and Gon grinned at the other boy before grabbing him around the waist and throwing him into the nearest snowdrift. Killua let out a screech as he disappeared into the drift, his hair and skin blending into the beautiful white fluff. His head emerged, his eyes glinting like two sapphires. 

"You better start running," Killua said, jumping up from the snow. He started chasing Gon, and Gon raced out into the yard. Alluka giggled from where she sat in the snow.

"Get him, Big Brother!"

Killua jumped onto Gon's back and they toppled down into the snow. Gon shivered as he became covered in snow and he let out a shriek. "It's cold, Killua! Get off!"

Killua giggled from where he sat on Gon's back. "Yeah, it's cold, isn't it?"

Gon whined. "I wanna go back in the house. It's too cold out here."

"Baby," Killua said, but he allowed Gon to sit up beside him. "This is really your first time playing in the snow?"

Gon punched his shoulder. "Yeah."

"You're shivering pretty bad," Killua pointed out. Gon glared at him.

Alluka raced over to join them, laying her head in Gon's lap. "Big Brother?"

"Yes, Alluka?"

"Can you make me hot chocolate?"

"What's that?" Gon asked, which earned him two looks of pure shock.

"You've never had hot chocolate?" Killua demanded.

Gon shook his head.

"Have you ever even _celebrated_ Christmas?"

"Well, yeah." Gon stood up and offered a hand to Alluka. She took it, then jumped onto his back. "Aunt Mito would cook us a big dinner and get me some gifts every year."

"I'm gonna show you all the Christmas cheer you've been missing out on," Killua said. "I mean, my Christmases weren't exactly the best but at least we had hot chocolate."

*****

Once they were in the house again, the three of them changed into warm and dry clothes. Gon was still freezing, so he stood as close to Killua as he could possibly get.

"I'm not your personal heater, Gon."

Gon stepped even closer.

Killua just sighed as he started stirring melted chocolate over the stove. "What do you want to do after this?"

Gon shrugged. "We should catch up."

"We talked all the time on the phone. You know every detail of my life for the past year."

"Yeah..." Gon trailed off.

"What is it, Gon?"

He shrugged again. "It's nothing, I promise."

Killua shook his head, but didn't press Gon any further.

They ended up lounging on the couch and watching some movie that Alluka wanted to watch. Gon really wasn't paying attention; he was too busy watching Killua.

He hadn't really had the time to think about it since he got here, but Killua had changed. 

And Gon liked that, he still adored Killua, which was the problem.

During their year apart, Gon had made lots of other friends. But none of them were Killua. None of them understood him like Killua.

And some of his new friends would talk about dating, about boyfriends and girlfriends. About _love_.

Gon had never thought about those things during his life. He had been so focused on finding Ging that he had never explored his own feelings.

He realized that what he felt for Killua wasn't just friendship or comradery after a few months apart.

He loved Killua.

He was painstakingly in love with Killua Zoldyck.

Alluka yawned and declared that she was going to bed, and before she left, she pulled Killua and Gon into one big hug. "Good night Big Brother! Good night Gon!"

They bid her goodnight and then they were left in silence. Gon was laying with his head on Killua's thigh, and he looked up into the other boy's eyes.

As if they were thinking the same thing, Killua whispered, "What changed?"

Gon sat up but didn't break their gaze. "I learned a lot about myself while we were apart."

Killua's eyebrows quirked upwards. "What did you learn?"

"Have you ever loved someone, Killua?"

A panicked expression darted across Killua's perfect features, and Gon immediately regretted what he said, which wasn't something that happened often.

"Well, yeah. Why? What's this about, Gon?"

Gon forced himself to smile. "Nothing, just curious."

"You're being weird."

"Am not."

"I'll throw you in the snow again if you don't tell me."

"I _can't_ tell you, Killua! It's a secret."

"I thought you told me everything."

Gon sighed. "Promise you won't call me crazy?"

"Gon, I've known you for, like, four years. You've done a lot of crazy shit, so I don't think you c-"

"I love you."

Killua turned statuesque, his whole body frozen. "What?"

"I love you," Gon repeated, slower this time. This wasn't the reaction he had expected. Was Killua mad?

Killua stood up and headed for the stairs. "Your room is the one next to mine."

"Killua, please, wait, I-"

"I'll see you in the morning."

Killua stomped up the stairs, and his door slammed behind him.

Gon felt numb. What had he done? He'd been trying to tell Killua he cared for him deeply, that he valued their friendship above all else. Why was Killua so bothered? Gon headed into his room and closed the door then fell backward onto the bed. Only then did he let the tears fall from his eyes. He'd made Killua mad. He'd upset Killua.

_I'll leave before he wakes up. Then he won't have to deal with me anymore._

********

Killua gazed at himself in his bedroom mirror, and once more, he felt like his 12-year-old self. Idiotic and impulsive and dramatic. 

He knew why he'd stormed away.

He'd spent an entire year trying to forget the feelings he had for Gon. But they wouldn't disappear.

He'd always thought Gon was cute, but it wasn't until they were on the airship during the Hunter Exam that Killua realized he had a _crush_ on Gon. He'd followed Gon to YorkNew, then Greed Island, and then into the NGL to fight the Chimera Ants, and his stupid little crush developed into the most intense thing he's ever felt in his life.

He'd been in love with Gon for 3 years. At this point, he accepted it was never going to go anywhere.

But then Gon told Killua he loved him.

 _He can't mean it_ , Killua told himself. _How could he love you?_

His tears stained the front of his shirt. He wanted it to be true, so very badly. He wanted to wake up the next morning and go to Gon and tell him that of course, Killua loved him too. But he couldn't. 

He hated himself for being so afraid of his own feelings. His own pitiful feelings.

Killua had told Alluka how he felt for Gon, which had thrilled her. She'd declared that she would be the flower girl at his wedding with Gon and that they would be the perfect match. Killua hadn't admitted that he'd been imagining marrying Gon since they were just kids.

"I'll fix this tomorrow, Gon," Killua whispered. "Promise."

*********

Gon had planned on walking right out the front door. But Killua was sitting at the kitchen table, and Gon nearly cried out when he saw him there.

"Leaving already?" Killua asked.

Gon shook his head and waved his arms around. "I was just going to go for a run!" But his backpack betrayed him.

"Gon... can we... can we talk?"

This was one of the first times Gon had seen Killua so vulnerable. "Uh... yeah."

Gon sat across from Killua and they both started talking at the same time.

"I'm sorry about what I said last night."

"I was scared to tell you how I feel, Gon."

They both narrowed their eyes at each other.

"You first," Gon said.

"I... you said you love me."

Gon nodded, forcing his heartbeat to stay calm in his chest.

"What kind of love do you mean?"

"Isn't there only one kind of love?" Gon asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I don't know," Killua scoffed. "What did you mean when you said you loved me?"

"Well, you're super important to me, and you're my best friend in the whole world. You understand me better than anyone else, and you've always been by my side."

"So you love me... as a friend?"

"What? No!" Gon slammed his head down on the table. "What aren't you understanding when I say I love you?"

Killua groaned. "You're so difficult."

"I love you the way that Aunt Mito said I should fall in love one day. She says you should love someone who you want to spend forever with."

Killua's cheeks turned scarlet. "You... you really mean that?"

"Duh, stupid." 

Killua's face went blank for a second, then he smiled, and it was like a perfect snapshot, the most beautiful thing Gon had ever seen. "You love me."

"Yes?" Gon hated to admit that he was confused. Killua was acting so strange.

"Gon, it took you _this long_ to realize?"

"I realized when one of my friends on Whale Island got what she called a girlfriend," Gon explained. "They loved each other, and they had other friends, but they were both the most important to each other."

Killua groaned again. "Gon. I've been in love with you for THREE YEARS and you didn't know what a GIRLFRIEND IS?"

Gon shook his head and laughed shyly. "Honestly, I didn't really know anything up until after we separated. I'd spent my whole life focused on finding Ging." Then he paused. "You've been in love with me for three years?"

"You're so dense." Killua looked like he was about to cry. "I thought it was so painfully obvious."

"Does that make you my boyfriend?" Gon asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Do you want me to be?" Beneath his attempts to stay calm and collected, though, Gon could see the excitement in all of the contours of Killua's face that he knew so well.

"Depends," Gon said, tilting his nose up. "Can I come live with you?"

Killua practically leaped over the table and yanked him into a hug. "You idiot. Of course."

Gon smiled into Killua's shoulder. "I love you."

"You're so stupid," Killua grumbled.

"Say it back!"

"You're embarrassing," he snapped. "But, fine. If it's that important, I love you, too."

"Yay!" They both turned at the sound of Alluka's voice. She was smiling at them from the bottom of the stairs. "I knew you two would be so perfect together!"

*********

Christmas Eve.

The past two weeks had passed by in a blur of cuddles and snowball fights and movie nights and hot chocolate. And Killua finally had what he had wanted for so long.

Gon was laying in his lap on the couch, a fire blazing in the fireplace, a movie running in the background.

This was it.

This was how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. He'd never felt so happy, not in his entire 16 years.

Gon blinked at him sleepily and Killua ran his fingers through Gon's hair. "Go back to sleep."

He replied with something muffled and unintelligible, and Killua just laughed. 

Gon was his _boyfriend_. And, soon, Gon would be moving in officially.

Alluka was right; they were perfect for each other. 

After he and Gon started dating, he'd stopped having so much doubt in himself. He felt loved. Appreciated.

He placed a soft kiss on Gon's forehead. "Goodnight, love," he whispered, hugging Gon a little bit tighter, and letting his own eyes drift shut.

**Author's Note:**

> so i didn't read over this BUT it's like 4AM and I have school in a few hours. I hope you enjoyed this little fic, and if u did, comments and kudos would be appreciated. xoxo


End file.
